01 agosto 2009

Entrevista a mí mismo

Musogato es el nick de la persona que está detrás de “el refinamiento de la declinación”, un blog que recientemente ha cumplido sus tres años de andadura con casi 200 post publicados. Un buen momento, sin duda, para reflexionar sobre el proyecto.


E: Buenos días y gracias por aceptar esta propuesta.

M: Hola, buenos días. Es un placer para mí.

E: ¿Cómo empezó todo?

M: Espontáneamente, sin pensar, un poco por casualidad. Descubrí que existían los blogs, que la gente podía publicar lo que quisiera, y me dije, ¿por qué no?

E: ¿Qué intentas decirnos?

M: Sinceramente al principio sólo pretendía dar a conocer algunas de las fotos de mis viajes a personas cercanas. Me gusta la fotografía, puedo considerarme un aficionado, aunque entre comillas, porque realmente casi sólo hago fotos cuando viajo, y esto tampoco ocurre frecuentemente. Pero me apetecía mostrar las fotografías de manera distinta, adjuntando algún texto relacionado con la foto, con algo que la foto me transmitiera, cosas que surgían casi sin pensarlas. Inicialmente no pretendía decir otra cosa, sin embargo poco a poco los comentarios a pie de foto fueron ganando en protagonismo, hasta el punto de que actualmente las fotos, en muchos casos, son meramente complementarias.

E: ¿Por qué "el refinamiento de la declinación"? ¿Por qué ese nombre?

M: Pues tampoco fue así al principio. Durante más de un año el blog llevó simplemente mi nombre. Durante esté primer año me di cuenta de que mis textos casi siempre hablaban de tristeza, de amargura. Al principio pensé que sería una racha, pero el tiempo pasaba y yo seguía escribiendo sobre lo mismo una y otra vez. Era lo que me salía. Luego pensé que por qué tenía que cambiar, de hecho me di cuenta de que no quería cambiar en absoluto. Mi blog estaba creciendo así, esas eran sus señas de identidad, así era mi pequeña "felicidad" que seguramente pocos pueden adivinar, y fue entonces, cuando me acepté a mi mismo, cuando decidí apostar todo a esta línea, cuando decidí desnudarme definitivamente, y "el refinamiento de la declinación" me pareció la forma más concisa de describir todo lo que quería contar aquí a partir de ese momento.

E: ¿Cuándo empieza la declinación?

M: Cuando eres todavía un niño y te das cuenta por primera vez de que vas a morir, en eso no tengo dudas, en mi caso fue así.

E: ¿Y lo de refinamiento?

M: Bueno, esto es más difícil de explicar. Es un proceso. Desde que tomas conciencia sobre tu propia muerte hasta que lo aceptas pasa un tiempo, un duro periodo. Cuando finalmente consigues aceptarlo, te sientes mucho más tranquilo, la tristeza y la amargura siguen ahí, pero ya no es tan horrible, entre otras cosas porque es inevitable. Refinamiento porque intento transformar toda esta tristeza en belleza, en alegría es imposible porque es contradictorio, pero en belleza es posible.

E: ¿Y crees que a la gente le gusta leer sobre estas cosas?

M: No lo creo, tengo la certeza de que en general no gusta leer cosas así. Algunas personas que han intentado leer mi blog así me lo han dicho. Probablemente si a la gente le gustara leer sobre estas cosas, esta entrevista no sería ficticia, sino que estaría publicada en el semanario de El país, por ejemplo. A lo mejor están en un periodo de adaptación y no pueden ver la belleza de lo triste de la que hablo, o a lo mejor no es tan complicado y simplemente tienen otros gustos.

E: ¿De qué manera te afecta el número de visitas que recibes?

M: Cuando empecé a tomarme esto como una especie de diario personal que me ayudaba a desahogarme y a sincerarme conmigo mismo no le daba mucha importancia a lo de las visitas. Luego cuando algunas personas empezaron a hacerme comentarios descubrí que era una experiencia que me gustaba. Incluso llegué a obsesionarme un poco con este tema, y esto me ha influido en mis varios intentos de retirada. Ahora definitivamente no quiero darle importancia a eso. Esto lo hago para mí y para quién quiera leerlo, me da igual si son 2 o 50 las personas que lo hagan. Me afecta más el dejar de escribir y de publicar cosas, las veces que lo he intentado he tenido una especie de "mono" a las pocas semanas de dejarlo y esto, irremediablemente, me ha hecho volver.

E: ¿En qué te inspiras?

M: En el arte. Para nada me considero un artista, pero reconozco que el arte es lo que me inspira. La mayoría de mis publicaciones están inspiradas en libros que he leído, canciones que he escuchado, películas que he visto, pinturas, fotografías, esculturas o incluso edificios. No oculto mis inspiraciones, están reflejadas en el blog y también en mi perfil de blogger. Desde el punto de vista de la literatura creo que estoy profundamente influenciado por los autores existencialistas como Jean Paul Sartre o Albert Camus, aunque también por algunos autores contemporáneos como Paul Auster o Haruki Murakami. Musicalmente me gustaría nombrar a Sigur Ros, Elliott Smith, Rufus Wainwright, Sébastien Schuller o Patrick Watson. Me emociona el trasfondo trágico que, bajo mi punto de vista, tienen en común todos estos autores.

E: Cuéntanos algo sobre la foto con la que has decidido ilustrar esta entrevista.

M: Se trata de una imagen que se puede observar en el Palacio de Charlottenburg, en Berlín. A cada lado de la puerta de entrada al recinto de este palacio, como protegiéndolo de algún peligro desconocido, se encuentran dos guerreros sobre sendas columnas. Antes he hablado de que en un momento determinado yo he desnudado mis sentimientos en este blog, aún así siempre quedan temores ocultos de los que tienes que defenderte, o con los que tienes que aprender a vivir. Este guerrero desnudo, pero no por ello desarmado, me ha parecido que podía reflejar esta sensación, esta idea.

E: Y sobre la canción que has elegido en esta ocasión.

M: Se trata de The leaving song, del recientemente publicado nuevo álbum de Chris Garneau. Tiene un aire de abatimiento con el que me siento tremendamente identificado. Y es un poco como el proceso de adaptación del que he hablado al principio de la entrevista, la canción evoluciona en mi interior, la tragedia se convierte en belleza. La tristeza sigue ahí, la desolación, pero una vez aceptas este hecho, puedes convertir toda esta amargura en algo bello y refinado, en algo parecido a la felicidad.

E: ¿Y ahora a descansar?

M: Como en años anteriores, y coincidiendo con el verano, voy a dejar de postear durante algún tiempo, voy a tomarme un descanso. En otras ocasiones no sabía si volvería, pero esta vez es distinto, sé que voy a volver, o al menos ese es mi deseo. He comprobado que no puedo estar mucho tiempo sin escribir algo, así que espero volver. Aunque me temo que debido a algunos acontecimientos personales mi ausencia puede ser algo más prolongada que otras veces.

E: Muchas gracias y hasta pronto.

M: Gracias. Hasta siempre.

40 comentarios:

FILO dijo...

Desveladora la entrevista y totalmente de acuerdo en que la tristeza puede ser bella, aunque no alegre. Así que sigue posteando, que lo triste sería que no lo hicieras.

FILO dijo...
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por el autor.
Paula y Manuel dijo...

Buenas... muy buen blog! Felicitaciones!!!

Te invito a que visites nuestro blog y que luego consideres darnos tu voto en la sección SOLIDARIOS.
Damos de comer a los jóvenes que viven en la calle y el premio redundaría en beneficio de ellos.
Gracias por tu valioso tiempo!!!

Paula y Manuel
www.elmacarronsolidario.blogspot.com

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Muchas gracias Filo!!

Deprisa dijo...

La tristeza puede ser bella pero poca gente es capaz de entederla.

Me considero un blogger "triste" en el sentido de que prefiero las entradas pesimistas y oscuras a las alegres y floridas. El 90% de los lectores no sabrán apreciarlas y las tildarán de "raras" o "psicóticas" pero me da igual, sirve para liberar y el que no lo entienda que se marche a cavar patatas.

Nunca he entendido a esa gente que dice de una película o un libro: "es triste" y luego disfruta sobremanera con películas sangrientas casi gore. Supongo que eso no es triste si no guay. Todo es cuestión de perspectiva.

Un saludo

musogato dijo...

Coincido contigo plenamente Deprisa, gracias por tu comentario.

musogato dijo...

Acabo de darme cuenta de que, desde que existe este blog, este ha sido el mes que más visitas he recibido. Ya son 469 las visitas a fecha de hoy, y todavía quedan dos días para que finalice agosto. Y teniendo en cuenta que este mes sólo hay un post publicado, todavía se agradece más.

Por eso te quiero dar las gracias de todo corazón. Espero contar contigo cuando vuelva, lo estoy deseando, aunque todavía tardaré un poco.

Gracias, gracias y gracias.

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